operation harelip BJ is a go
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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