Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
