The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
