I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
