Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
