I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
