i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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