i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
