I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
