Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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