those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
