You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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