Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
