I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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