All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
