Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
