youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
