don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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