Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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