so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
