I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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