you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
