You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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