Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
