NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
