I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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