Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
