I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
