I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
The Olympian is in my bed
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
