doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
And then my night got REAL pukey
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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