I think I am morally bankrupt
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
