Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
