Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
