where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
