do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
