Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
