That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
