i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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