Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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