she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
