I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
