Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
