i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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