well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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