She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
