Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
