I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
