You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
