Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
