I cockslap morals
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
