Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
